Psychic Sterling Sinclair Sexual Assault Survivor Poem and Auracature “Still Here – Fighting to be Free.” When he comes in your room at night… November 25, 2014
Psychic Sterling Sinclair
Sexual Assault Survivor Poem and Auracature
“Still Here – Fighting to be Free.”
When he comes in your room at night…
November 25, 2014
I’m Still Here
I looked to the side
I stared at the wall
My lips bled from teeth bites
I never dared to call
I cleared the plate at supper
I feared the setting sun
Soon I’d try to sleep
I wished I wasn’t the one
I covered myself with blankets
I curled way down deep
But when I’d start to close my eyes
I felt him when he’d creep
I was not safe even in my own room
I wasn’t ever there alone
My siblings slept in beds beside me
I don’t know how I got his bone
I guess I was special
I guess from me their backs were turned
Silence screamed loudly as my springs did squeak
I wiped my eyes – Oh his love burned
I never saw him leave
I wouldn’t show my tears
Like a bad dream, the night ate up his shape
I wanted a drink from one of his beers
I coughed up in my mouth
I was sickened by his meat
His fingers would pierce me
I washed the blood from my sheet
I was alone at night
I was alone during the day
If anyone knew, not a mention was made
I wanted to go – Oh why did I stay?
I tried to tell Mom
I told my sister too
But the fingers pointed back at me
I guess I said something untrue
I learned to be quiet
I held these secrets inside
My pain was kept silent by the smiles that I’d wear
I tried to be proud – Where was my pride?
I wanted a good man
I looked for women, but nope
Where did my soul ever find to go?
I think maybe dangling at the end of a rope
I wanted to die
I wanted the sun to stay up
Was it the dishes I washed so well by the sink?
I took care each time I handled his cup
I live my life
I try to love and to live
No one ever showed me so do I know how?
I will find a way – I really want to give
If you see me with eyes all glaze over
If I’m not me sometimes some days
Please understand, I’m still here down inside
I’m dealing with life in my own silent ways
Please do not judge me
Please take time to see
He tried to trap all that I was
But I am still here – I fight to be free.
by Sterling Sinclair, 11/25/2014
Psychic Sterling Sinclair Poem – Child Abuse – Domestic Violence – When a Son Still Loves His Mom, Nov 20, 2014
Psychic Sterling Sinclair
Poem – Child Abuse – Domestic Violence
When a Son Still Loves His Mom
Nov 20, 2014
Mom and I Dance in the Rain
She sat on the step that day
She rocked me in her arms
My lips were all but silent
My eyes were screaming alarms
Here hands swung with a belt so wide
Here voice squealed of banshees
My back bruised and welted
My legs dropped like fancies
She looked as if she died that day
She wet my head with tears
I felt my mother’s worries
I breathed in all her fears
She could not stop once she’d begin
She love to hate the pain
I was her little special boy
I used to dance in the rain
Why Mom would you hurt me?
Why Mom would you start?
Many years of silence passed
I pushed Mom’s sorrow cart
She came by to see me one day
I stood outside my store
Upon the cold sidewalk
Where was my mom anymore?
She looked that day like no mom should look
She’d weathered every blow
I knew she felt what she gave me
I knew she had come to go
No words were really needed
No words could ever explain
She came to me to do one thing…
Mom and I danced in the rain.
Written by Sterling Sinclair (11/20/2014)
Psychic Sterling Sinclair Auracature Tribute to Sexual Assault Survivors – “We Are Strong” November 14, 2014
Psychic Sterling Sinclair
Auracature Tribute to Sexual Assault Survivors
“We Are Strong”
November 14, 2014
A few days ago, I publicly revealed that I and another student had been sexually assaulted by a teacher in high school. I was touched by the number of people who had kept their assaults quiet over the years. Many people began posting their stories of what happened to them. Some people made it public for the first time. So many of us have been hurt and have kept it buried over time. I dedicate this collection to all sexual assault survivors – past and present – publicly proclaimed or privately held – passed or living.
We are strong.
I send you my love, S
Psychic Sterling Sinclair New Age Ascension Writing, February 26, “Be Strong Today. It is Your CHOICE!”
Psychic Sterling Sinclair New Age Ascension Writing
February 26, 2013
“Be Strong Today. It is Your CHOICE!”
This is a rare public vent so forgive the tone: “What didn’t kill me made me stronger.”
What the hell?
What didn’t kill us simply did not kill us. In most cases it makes people weaker. Let’s not be thankful for the benefits of the horror we experienced because it didn’t kill us. It is our choice to learn from experiences.
Our CHOICE to not let the experience kill us is what makes us STRONGER.
We choose to be strong.
Women survivors of domestic violence often use this phrase as a banner – their strength for moving on. Although I am a strong supporter of doing what you must do to survive and each person’s method is different, this phrase has so often presented itself as a way of not casting blame or placing ownership of the event(s) onto the spouse/lover/partner/child/etc.
If someone purposely hurts you by throwing you down the stairs, then person was not purposely trying to make you stronger. It may not have killed you, but now the you are afraid to walk at the top of the stairs when the other person is near you. Now you are tentative when it comes to trust. These are not examples of being stronger.
To finally find a way to not let that happen to you and to move on – that makes you stronger.
To overcome your fear – that makes you stronger.
To demand on healthy relationships – that makes you stronger.
Today is a day to be stronger.
It is your choice to be stronger.
You can do it.
You can be strong!
FB Status: Do not give up today. Do not give up today. Do not give up today. You can do it. You Can Do It! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I Love You, S – Comment: Sometimes, some days just say: Quit! Toss it in. Sometimes, we fall prey of the defeatist energy to hold us in place long enough till we believe it and in turn focus the same energy upon ourselves. Today is a day that we say, “We will NOT quit! We will DO it! Yes We WILL!”