IT'S TIME TO SEE – IT'S TIME TO BE FREE

Psychic Sterling Sinclair Sexual Assault Survivor Poem and Auracature “Still Here – Fighting to be Free.” When he comes in your room at night… November 25, 2014

Psychic Sterling Sinclair

Sexual Assault Survivor Poem and Auracature

“Still Here – Fighting to be Free.”  

When he comes in your room at night…

 November 25, 2014

Psychic Sterling Sinclair Life Coach Medium Counselling Auracature Art  Madoc Tweed Belleville Sexual Assault Survivor Child Abuse Rape Domestic Assault

 

I’m Still Here

 

I looked to the side

I stared at the wall

My lips bled from teeth bites

I never dared to call

 

I cleared the plate at supper

I feared the setting sun

Soon I’d try to sleep

I wished I wasn’t the one

 

I covered myself with blankets

I curled way down deep

But when I’d start to close my eyes

I felt him when he’d creep

 

I was not safe even in my own room

I wasn’t ever there alone

My siblings slept in beds beside me

I don’t know how I got his bone

 

I guess I was special

I guess from me their backs were turned

Silence screamed loudly as my springs did squeak

I wiped my eyes – Oh his love burned

 

I never saw him leave

I wouldn’t show my tears

Like a bad dream, the night ate up his shape

I wanted a drink from one of his beers

 

I coughed up in my mouth

I was sickened by his meat

His fingers would pierce me

I washed the blood from my sheet

 

I was alone at night

I was alone during the day

If anyone knew, not a mention was made

I wanted to go – Oh why did I stay?

 

I tried to tell Mom

I told my sister too

But the fingers pointed back at me

I guess I said something untrue

 

I learned to be quiet

I held these secrets inside

My pain was kept silent by the smiles that I’d wear

I tried to be proud – Where was my pride?

 

I wanted a good man

I looked for women, but nope

Where did my soul ever find to go?

I think maybe dangling at the end of a rope

 

I wanted to die

I wanted the sun to stay up

Was it the dishes I washed so well by the sink?

I took care each time I handled his cup

 

I live my life

I try to love and to live

No one ever showed me so do I know how?

I will find a way – I really want to give

 

If you see me with eyes all glaze over

If I’m not me sometimes some days

Please understand, I’m still here down inside

I’m dealing with life in my own silent ways

 

Please do not judge me

Please take time to see

He tried to trap all that I was

But I am still here – I fight to be free.

 

by Sterling Sinclair, 11/25/2014

 

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